Dating Self Decoder

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The following are a generic list of behavior profiles that you may be able to relate in the past or present and depending on the context. When reviewing these profiles try not to label yourself, but self-reflect on what type of behavior you may have exhibited and whether you relate to any of these dating self-decoder images. Awareness is the first key to change.

Needy Nelly
Do you find yourself calling much more often than your partner, organizing plans for your next date, and initiating all sexual advances? Are you the one who is constantly complimenting your partner without receiving much in return? Pay attention to these signs and if that is the case, you may want to have an open and honest conversation with your partner and take a step back. Remember the metaphor of relationships being likened to a dance. When one partner takes a step forward, the other takes a step back. Exude self-esteem because neediness is a turn-off for almost everyone. Show your partner that you are special and desirable.

Game Player
Have you followed "the rules" when it comes to dating? If following the rules has not yielded positive results then, perhaps it is time to go on instinct. Games may lead to the opposite effect of what you were seeking. You may try to play a game in order to keep the interest of your date. While it is true that you don't want to give the impression that you are too into the relationship too soon, you may want to avoid acting too disinterested. Sooner or later the truth about your feelings will emerge -better to be open and honest and risk rejection then chart a course of deception that inevitably leads to distrust and relationship breakdown.

Too Sexual for a Relationship
Some people get hot and heavy too early into a relationship leading their partner to feel that he is not relationship material. If you choose to cool your sexual jets you may send the message that you value yourself, your body, and waiting to share both with someone special. If however you are needing a sexual experience (which is perfectly legitimate) but still seeking an enduring relationship, allow a bit of the chase and then savor the moment once it happens. Take the time to make the person really want you and once they have you, cherish you.

Self-Involved
Do you find that on dates you do most of the talking? Do you find that your dates often end early without the date being interested in a second chance at seeing you? You may be guilty of being the self-involved date, speaking mainly about yourself. While it is true that on a date you want the other person to get to know you, it is very important to not be too self-focused. Take the time to ask the other person questions and get to know who they are. They will appreciate your interest in them and if there is a connection, they will most likely be eager to share information about themselves.

Uptight & Intense
The uptight and intense date has difficulty laughing and letting loose. You may recognize aspects of this personality in yourself, or moments on a date that fit with this description. If you fit the uptight and intense personality you may be worried and share your concerns with your date. You may also want to speak mainly about serious subjects leading to a somber mood on your date. Be aware of these qualities and avoid the uptight and intense trap!

Immature
You may find that at times you have fit the description of the immature date. This type of date may be very giggly not wanting to talk about anything of substance. The key to a good date is to mix substance sprinkled with laughter and fun. In your discussion content strike a balance by demonstrating that you are worldly but also know how to have a good time and let loose!

Hot Tempered
Do you find that you get angry very easily at small injustices and have difficulty controlling your temper on a date? An example of this could be someone at a movie theatre chewing popcorn loudly, shifting in his seat or talking that causes you to lash out. This kind of behavior and lack of control may cause you to feel embarrassed in front of your date. Remember, it is critical to control your temper both for your sake and the comfort of your date. You can begin to take control of your anger by starting to become aware of your anger triggers and work on taking time-outs for example, take a bathroom break to cool off.

Depressive
Does this seem familiar? Have you pushed yourself to go out when you were not ready and found yourself miserable on your date? Chances are that your date will sense your unhappiness. Have you found yourself discussing your sadness and the loss of your last significant relationship? It is best to keep the date light by not discussing your previous partners, which would only lead to alienating your current date. Remember...sharing is welcome...but dwelling is suffocating.